The pooper

The pooper here at work has a tendency to run a lot. Jiggle the handle a bit and it usually rights itself fine. The thing that's kind of strange about it is that it's not a public bathroom, only one toilet, so you have to give a knock before using a key to open it. When someone's inside they tend to give a head's up before you start opening the door so you don't walk in on them. I also tend to give a listen for water running so I can wait a second for someone to finish up washing and walk out (the reason for this is that a lot of people will give the don't come in noise while washing their hands, so you go back and sit down for another 10 minutes or so for no reason).

Somehow I've developed this dellusion that I'm going to walk in on someone who didn't hear the knock because of this running toilet. This has caused me to be a bit more cautious when opening the door, just in case. Today was one of those generic days like that, where the toilet was running so I gave a knock, got no response, and opened the door up to the welcome site of a cold, dark, water closet with a running toilet that just needs a quick jiggle of the handle.

As soon as I sat on the toilet, however, a thought occured to me. A thought that really is the point of the whole tale. What would one do when faced with an incoming turd and a dead man at the sink of said facility? What if the last fellow to use the crapper had himself a heart attack right there at the sink, hands only partially washed and you walked in on it while on the brink of ejecting excrement through your pants and onto the floor? Would you call for help or take your dump? I honestly don't know what I'd do. So many factors are in play here. Is it an explosive dump or just a casual time killing run of farts? Does the dead guy stink? Has he bloated yet? Each case has a different answer, I think. What would you do?