Flogging Molly

Whiskey on a Sunday
July 25th, 2006

Ouch

Things like that are why I'm always a little worried about leaving my laptop on all the time. It also serves as a reminder to why even though I despise Kevin Rose and everything he touches, I continue to find far better things at digg than slashdot. Times change, I suppose.

Did anyone else know Morgan Webb got a myspace?

Things you need to know and probably don't

Found this article on digg today. I'd like to highlight a few things:

For better sex, crank the thermostat way, way up. Working on the same concept as Bikram, or hot, yoga, this momentary splurge on your heating bill will have you breaking the social taboo of getting sweaty together. Taboo-breaking ups her vulnerability and makes her feel closer to you. Plus, everything will just be a whole lot slipperier.

To get your partner in the mood, turn down the Barry White and feed her Good & Plenty. In a study by noted Chicago smell researcher Dr. Alan Hirsch, women exposed to the scent of licorice experienced a 13 percent increase in vaginal blood flow. That compares to a 14 percent reduction from the scent of barbecue smoke.

In a related study by Hirsch on penile blood flow, topping the men's list was an interesting pairing of lavender extract and...pumpkin pie. The number two slot? Licorice and doughnuts.

If you think yoga is a great way to meet hot women, think again -- it's a great way to meet hot, turned-on women. Certain poses, such as the eagle, direct blood flow to a woman's pelvis, increasing sensation, says Rutgers sex researcher Beverly Whipple.

Oh em gee, House, oh em gee

Was thinking to myself this morning about how last night's House was pretty good and how I wished I'd not deleted it so I could go back and watch it again knowing that all of the dialog was entirely internal. Naturally I got a bit curious and did some digging into the episode. A few things I found out:

1) The guy that shot House, his name is Jack Moriarty. If you know anything at all about Sherlock Holmes and the connection House has to it, you know why that name is so cool and important.

2) Jack Moriarty was played by Elias Koteas, aka Casey Jones from the Ninja Turtles movies. How cool is that?

3) The character that plays Wilson (aka, Dr. Watson) was in Dead Poets Society as the kid that was going to be a doctor but ends up shooting himself.

The pooper

The pooper here at work has a tendency to run a lot. Jiggle the handle a bit and it usually rights itself fine. The thing that's kind of strange about it is that it's not a public bathroom, only one toilet, so you have to give a knock before using a key to open it. When someone's inside they tend to give a head's up before you start opening the door so you don't walk in on them. I also tend to give a listen for water running so I can wait a second for someone to finish up washing and walk out (the reason for this is that a lot of people will give the don't come in noise while washing their hands, so you go back and sit down for another 10 minutes or so for no reason).

Somehow I've developed this dellusion that I'm going to walk in on someone who didn't hear the knock because of this running toilet. This has caused me to be a bit more cautious when opening the door, just in case. Today was one of those generic days like that, where the toilet was running so I gave a knock, got no response, and opened the door up to the welcome site of a cold, dark, water closet with a running toilet that just needs a quick jiggle of the handle.

As soon as I sat on the toilet, however, a thought occured to me. A thought that really is the point of the whole tale. What would one do when faced with an incoming turd and a dead man at the sink of said facility? What if the last fellow to use the crapper had himself a heart attack right there at the sink, hands only partially washed and you walked in on it while on the brink of ejecting excrement through your pants and onto the floor? Would you call for help or take your dump? I honestly don't know what I'd do. So many factors are in play here. Is it an explosive dump or just a casual time killing run of farts? Does the dead guy stink? Has he bloated yet? Each case has a different answer, I think. What would you do?

Another winner

This one's funny just because he says whoopitty shit:

"I can't stand cowards/whiners/pussies and their "it's too soon!" bullshit. Immediately isn't soon enough for things that offend people.

For some reason, people have this idea that they have the right to never have their feelings hurt. Well fuck them. If being offended by stuff is the worst thing that ever happens to you, then you've lived a charmed life.

I swear, when a people are so spoiled and safe that they can get upset about a VIDEOGAME, it's time for war. Spending a few hours every night in a shelter waiting for the tanks to stop shelling your neighbourhood is just the kind of thing people need to remind of how enormously trivial a videogame is. Seeing your neighbours being taken away to deathcamps is good too. I suppose going to a deathcamp yourself might serve as a reminder, but you would never really get a chance to implement that knowledge...

To summarize: it's just a videogame. Whoopitty shit. Find something serious to care about, like the fact that the USA is adopting fascism, or that Europe has become a power-keg for racially/religiously/economically driven violence. Those things matter. Videogames based on what was possibly the smallest massacre in human history do not."

I really find it funny that people think a game like this will inspire copycats. Are we really so naive that we believe a video game is the difference between an upstanding citizen and a sociopath? That somehow if we could just keep murderers away from TV and violent entertainment they'd be reformed? Things like this do nothing but further my contempt for people today.

Yeah, I laughed. There a problem with that?

So I've linked to an article up there about a new game based on the Columbine shootings. Naturally I'm opposed to it, but my country is one that allows us to do and say as we like so long as we don't infringe upon the inalienable rights of others, so I'm not freaking out demanding the people's heads over it.

I was doing like I tend to do and read through some of the higher moderated comments about the article when I saw this gem and felt I just had to share it:

"Compared to WWII, all those other wars (plus Columbine and 2001/9/11 for that matter) were about as tragic as a guy stubbing his toe. No disrespect intended for the veterens of these events, but compared to 62 Million deaths from combat, bombing, starving, nuking and mass genocide, every other nasty event in the four thousand odd years of written history of violence seems like a jolly piece of fun."

The general debate raging seems to be about how we find it okay to glorify and defend things like WWII games and violent games such as the GTA series, but when someone recreates something like the Columbine shootings we go up in arms about it. Somewhat interesting to see the various sides of it, especially when one considers that delicate line of defending free speach vs defending morals and values. I also thought this comment was a good one:

"WWII makes a good setting for a game for a number of reasons.

It fits a basic good v. bad story model, as it's hard for there to be much of a grey area when one side is shoving people into furnaces and gas chambers.

The combat was very mobile and the weapons are interesting--no boring trench warfare (I imagine a WWI game as playing more like Oregon Trail than an FPS; "Billy has trenchfoot!") and no fire-then-reload-for-a-minute (the ONLY reason a Revolutionary War FPS hasn't come out, and the community total conversion mods that have tried it were never very popular).

There's machinery like tanks and aircraft, but it's not fire-and-forget yet. You still have to see the enemy, dogfight, etc. Fast-paced and up-close action.

Luckily, the WWII setting also makes for some great experiences for the player. One can experience just a little bit of the horror of infantry combat in the mechanized age. It's hard to get across some of the horrors of other wars in the medium of the video game--again, trench warfare would be silly (It's the WWI choose-your-own-adventure game! *you are being shelled AGAIN. Do you a) wait it out or b) go 'over the top' and get mowed down by a machine gun?*), while much of the horror of wars like Vietnam weren't the *action*, but rather the way that day upon day of tension might play out after a close call that lasted maybe a minute.

I really do feel like a have a better handle on what that war was like after playing several WWII games. I'm NOT trying to compare it to the real thing at all, but I know that the first time I played the crossing-the-river scene in Call of Duty and "our side" (the Russians) called in a massive artillery strike less than 100 yards from where I was sitting, I was physically shaken afterwards. It's 1/2 of 1% of what the real thing is like, but it's more than you'd get anywhere else (outside of actual war, I mean). It gives a person a new respect for what a bunch of ordinary people went through over there, and what they accomplished in spite of it all."

Gyration

Was talking to a buddy yesterday about some cool new tech when he brings up this fancy new gyro-mouse thing he played with at Micron. Apparently these people are the ones that came up with the Wii controller. I'm now quite curious as to how well something like this might work with some of my PC games.

House

From the digg comments regarding the below 'disease':

"Sounds like a job for House."

I think that's probably why I find the whole thing so interesting.

Also, check these pictures out:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/fighorfly/detail?.dir=2aa4&.dnm=fa04.jpg&.src=ph

Is it just me or does it look like a bath and some hand lotion is all this guy needs?

Morgellons

This is some crazy x-files shit here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgellons_disease

Check out the links at the bottom where people take pictures of it. I originally came across this via some epidemic in Texas. Thousands of these people with fibers coming out of lesions that no one else seems to see. It's absolutely insane.

PS3 vs Wii

PS3:

$500 low-end model
$600 high-end model
A controller that looks functionally the same as the PS2 controller as well as having features jacked from the Wii controller
E3 presentation a let down:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/games/archives/2006/05/09/ps3_conference_letdown.html
http://blog.wired.com/games/index.blog?entry_id=1476047

Wii:
A new style of controller that wasn't jacked from one of the three big players
A speaker in the controller
27 titles available to play at E3 (that's a really big number for a not-yet-released console)
A Wii only version of Twilight Princess (the new Zelda game) in addition to the Gamecube version (both of which are actually playable on the Wii) - both will be out by launch
E3 presentation better overall, but more fluff than substance:

http://www.gamedaily.com/e3-2006/e3live.asp?p=&fn=Nintendo-Press-Conference

Blame Hofmann

Nurse: Excuse me, doctor, do you have a moment?
Doctor: A moment? What's the question?
Nurse: More of a situation, a gentleman in Exam 3.
Doctor: What's the problem?
Nurse: That is the problem: we're not sure.
Doctor: You've got the chart?
Nurse: Right here.
Doctor: Hmm... not much here, is there?
Nurse: No doctor, no obvious physical trauma, vitals are stable.
Doctor: Name?
Nurse: No sir.
Doctor: Did someone drop him off, maybe we can speak to them? Let's get some background on this fellow.
Nurse: No ID, nothing, and he won't speak to anybody.
Doctor: Well, let's say hello.
Doctor: Good morning, I'm Dr. Watson. How are you today? How are you today? Look son, you're in a safe place, we want to help you, in whatever way we can. But you need to talk us, we can't help you otherwise. Now, what's happened? Tell me everything.

--------

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, and
actually eating up, you know,
a box of Krispy Kremes,
at my need-to-know post
just outside Area 51 contemplating
the whole "chosen people" thing
just when a flaming, stealth banana split the sky, like, wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled something wet
right on my Birkenstocks.
Then yelping

Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-File being,
who was like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips with breath that reeked,
did a wicked jump there
also while making the sound a-banana-da-banana
hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was,
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So alive in this way
Like an apparition,
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
Deadhead
Chemistry
The bottom got on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope to those who choose to hear it
and a warning to those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me, and I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time they floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
Also a bit terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
When I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why

It was a repeat experience
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I just said!
See they're telling the truth
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down on my bed
Feet cold, eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

High...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and read you all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down on my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
God help me!
Can't remember what they said

Don't know, won't know

God damn, shit the bed!

Right in Two

Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.

Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys
Where there's one you're bound to divide it
Right in two

Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason,
And this is what they choose?

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they forge a blade
And where there's one they're bound to divide it
Right in two

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club,
And beat their brother down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability,
To lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here.

Cutting it all right in two

Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over your lie, over blood, over anything
Fight over love, over sun, over nothing
Fight till they die.
Over what? For their ending

Angels on the sideline again,
Benched along with patience and reason.
Angels on the sideline again,
Wondering where this tug of war will end.

Cutting it all right in two

10,000 Days

Pretty good album. Was a little worried it'd be more of the same but in a lot of spots it really shines. Takes me back a ways.

Also, Scott Kurtz put up a pretty good rant about the new Star Wars re-release of the non-re-release original episodes. I know I'll shell out the cash for them, but I have to agree that it'd be nice of I didn't have to feel like George Lucas is just fucking with me all the time.