So lost and so confused

I had a good friend once tell me that I didn't deserve to be with another human being. I took this statement to heart as best I could. I looked at myself and what I was doing and asked myself if he was right every day of the last several months. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I knew that I needed to fix it. I did the best I could to do so and will continue to do what I can until I feel he should change his mind.

Tonight I watched one of the closest friends I've had in a long time treat one of the coolest girls I've met like absolute garbage. He did to her what someone would do to something they felt had betrayed them, even though she had done absolutely nothing wrong. I haven't felt this sad for another human being in some time. I wish so much to help him not be this way, because I know she really loves him and wants to have fun with him and love him. They are the two people that I feel really belong together.

I look at this and I think of myself. I see myself in his position and I wonder if I would do different. Could I really be a better person than that? I know I've been jealous and spiteful, but could I really sink as low as he did tonight? I look back at what my friend said to me... and I can only hope that what I've done to make myself better has at least put me above this rotten behavior in his mind. Perhaps not to the point that I deserve human companionship, but at least enough to deserve respect beyond what I witnessed tonight. I can only at best tear for this girl and hope that she'll understand that she doesn't deserve this kind of treament.

Sorry for being emo and all. It was just the wrong night to see this happen. But I'm excited for Flogging Molly tomorrow, I'm excited to see my friends that came over and played Magic with me, and I'm excited to see the Hollow Points on Monday. I'm also excited to be with my friends from BSU, but that's a whole other story for another time.

P.S. I love my dog. She's the best thing that's happened to me in as long as I can think of.