Asdlfkj!!!

Drunk bloggin sit hte st! I had soooo. much... yu know yu dont when the hot shichk sez... "we ant something horny and light". yu know... time to go. Brook so hot though. Even if she don't like udes... still so hot. I tipped her even she not serve me anthhing. You know? What you gonna do? I don't mind being there alone. It not so bad. Time fly fast. Legs tired cuz new biek. It a cruiser kinda thing, but make getting to mulligans so fast. And then I fell on the way home! And these gauys say "I fell your pain." Fuck them. though... what they know? Finally, the words stop thiningk. So quiet finally. I thin. Python good. Generic server kinda thing. It not... well it have script san dthingk about it. Generic scripts, anyone right and then bam... server for whatever. I reading Slauther house V. Good book that one. I read so much lately. Wtf up with RacheL? Lik ei'm not good enough. Not smart enough for her. Fuck that. I better than that. Fuck her and fuck people like her. Pretentious assholes anywah. What good it be if you read alot and dont' take the time to think about it? I read... think about it... realize it better to enjoy life rather than fucking read about it.

If god put people here... why the fuck he put us and nto think "They should enjoy it'? A higher being not able to enjoy what we have. You'd think that being would want us to enjoy life rather than contemplate it. All day we think about "what is it? what does it mean for us? why?' when it all it really is, is getting to be what we are and enjoying the fact that we get to feel things. Even alone at muligans, I realize that being out and enjoying people doinw what peopl do. That's good enough. That' slife. That's what being alive is about. enjoying what we see and feel, and think. Not waht fucking books we read or what movies we watch. That's just being an asshole. Thinking that somehow what we read and waht we think makes us better than the lowlifes. The lowlifes are part of it all too. Experiencing the subjectivity of it all. Deciding what it means to be alive. To feal and think about who we are and why we're here. That's what it's about... nto books and movies. Fuck books and movies. Right now is what we live for.

That's why I don't care so much about Rachel. She was one of them. A punk that didn't know she was one. Fucking anarchy in the UK. It's all about what the people around you think. The more I turn off the things upstaires, the more I realize it doesn't matter what they think. I'm having fun and I'm loving it. For the first time in so long... I'm having fun and lving it. What more from life could anyone want? Fun. Being happy. Thinking about who I am and what I want from myself. Me. Myself. Happy. that's whey we're here. Feeling things and being free. "Experienceing life subjectively". Sure... tomorrow, I'll read this and think, "what a fucking moron", but at least righ tnow... I'm happy. I think rachel is beautiful, and I think phoebe is beautiful, and I think caleb and jordan are beautiful. But what more in life could ther ebe? Just being happy... just taking advantage of the time we've got to see, and hear, and feel. To not feel, and to not think, and then the next day feeling and thinking, and being satisfied and content all at the same time. So artsy, fartsy in love with the gift we've been given in being alive. Fucking hippies may be hippies, but accepting it all is such a wonderful thing.

I been hi, I been low, I been happy, I been stoned. I'd never trade a moment, and in the end, I'd never give it all. For me, and me alone. Every moment, every thought. I like to think that if I make it to heaven, God will be there, and he'll say, like an eager puppy, "what was it like?" (being that He's a being who's never experienced life), and I'll say, "it was fun, God... it was fun". And he'll say, "that'll do pig... that'll do".