Helluvaday

Got me some more Real McKenzies and some more Dropkick Murpheys. I guess the McKenzies have a show here in April. Gonna have to get the crew together for that one. Also got me a practice chanter for a little try at the ol' pipes. I gotta say, that shit's rough. Excited about it, though. Gonna make alown's squeeze boxin' look like pansy droppin'. Prolly gonna get a little work done on "the secret idea that rocks your socks" and then bust out the extra stout with a little Dropkick Murpheys and some squaking away on the chanter. Not a bad way to spend a night, I think.

Oh... and uh... hehe... 2 days until the bash. Even if only the regulars show... it's gonna be the place to be. I'm getting all excited for the summer too. We went to the goose and took a look around the other day. Not a bad place and they got Black Butte on tap. I'd like to see what it's like when all the clans come together. There's like arms and legs, but lately only the torso's been getting together. Lotta people I still gotta meet. Hopefully alown gets out of wuss mode when that happens so he can partake of the fun as well... hehe...

Egh

You see what happens when you give an outlet to someone who shouldn't have one? Hippies man. Always full of ideas that don't make sense to anyone but them.

Asdlfkj!!!

Drunk bloggin sit hte st! I had soooo. much... yu know yu dont when the hot shichk sez... "we ant something horny and light". yu know... time to go. Brook so hot though. Even if she don't like udes... still so hot. I tipped her even she not serve me anthhing. You know? What you gonna do? I don't mind being there alone. It not so bad. Time fly fast. Legs tired cuz new biek. It a cruiser kinda thing, but make getting to mulligans so fast. And then I fell on the way home! And these gauys say "I fell your pain." Fuck them. though... what they know? Finally, the words stop thiningk. So quiet finally. I thin. Python good. Generic server kinda thing. It not... well it have script san dthingk about it. Generic scripts, anyone right and then bam... server for whatever. I reading Slauther house V. Good book that one. I read so much lately. Wtf up with RacheL? Lik ei'm not good enough. Not smart enough for her. Fuck that. I better than that. Fuck her and fuck people like her. Pretentious assholes anywah. What good it be if you read alot and dont' take the time to think about it? I read... think about it... realize it better to enjoy life rather than fucking read about it.

If god put people here... why the fuck he put us and nto think "They should enjoy it'? A higher being not able to enjoy what we have. You'd think that being would want us to enjoy life rather than contemplate it. All day we think about "what is it? what does it mean for us? why?' when it all it really is, is getting to be what we are and enjoying the fact that we get to feel things. Even alone at muligans, I realize that being out and enjoying people doinw what peopl do. That's good enough. That' slife. That's what being alive is about. enjoying what we see and feel, and think. Not waht fucking books we read or what movies we watch. That's just being an asshole. Thinking that somehow what we read and waht we think makes us better than the lowlifes. The lowlifes are part of it all too. Experiencing the subjectivity of it all. Deciding what it means to be alive. To feal and think about who we are and why we're here. That's what it's about... nto books and movies. Fuck books and movies. Right now is what we live for.

That's why I don't care so much about Rachel. She was one of them. A punk that didn't know she was one. Fucking anarchy in the UK. It's all about what the people around you think. The more I turn off the things upstaires, the more I realize it doesn't matter what they think. I'm having fun and I'm loving it. For the first time in so long... I'm having fun and lving it. What more from life could anyone want? Fun. Being happy. Thinking about who I am and what I want from myself. Me. Myself. Happy. that's whey we're here. Feeling things and being free. "Experienceing life subjectively". Sure... tomorrow, I'll read this and think, "what a fucking moron", but at least righ tnow... I'm happy. I think rachel is beautiful, and I think phoebe is beautiful, and I think caleb and jordan are beautiful. But what more in life could ther ebe? Just being happy... just taking advantage of the time we've got to see, and hear, and feel. To not feel, and to not think, and then the next day feeling and thinking, and being satisfied and content all at the same time. So artsy, fartsy in love with the gift we've been given in being alive. Fucking hippies may be hippies, but accepting it all is such a wonderful thing.

I been hi, I been low, I been happy, I been stoned. I'd never trade a moment, and in the end, I'd never give it all. For me, and me alone. Every moment, every thought. I like to think that if I make it to heaven, God will be there, and he'll say, like an eager puppy, "what was it like?" (being that He's a being who's never experienced life), and I'll say, "it was fun, God... it was fun". And he'll say, "that'll do pig... that'll do".

Half-Life 2

Worst ending ever. Fucking game was a bore. Somehow I ended up taking this damn long to finish the thing, only to be utterly disspointed in the end. Fucking waste. At least the pint of extra stout is still in the fridge... mmm....

I'm beginning to wonder more and more why it is that we choose to illegalize the things we do. Is a band of lethargic pot-heads really something we need to be afraid of? I think not. Hippies man. Either way, the countdown to the ol' birthday begins. Gonna get some good eats on sunday and hopefully find a way to get kicked out of mulligans on wednesday. Hehe... good times... good times.

Oh... yeah... one other thing. That movie... Hotel Rwanda.... never made it. Somehow that got left off here, and I know alown would think I was starting to man up if I didn't bitch about it here (and we can't have that happening). Thing is, I don't even know wtf is up with what happened. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing (we did have some major fun here that night, even if it did leave TMFJW crying on the couch all night). Set me up for a few new hairs on the ol' chest. Wish I knew what happened, but it's like Phoebe says, "Treat a princess like a whore and a whore like a princess." I don't know how that applies, but she said it and she's cooler than me, so it must be good shit.

Chicks Dig Jerks

Bill Hicks is a god damned genious. A god damned genious, I say.

N-Gage QD

So I finally did it. I dropped Verizon. Fucking bullshit service they offer. What kind of stupid ass company do you have to be to hang onto analog service like it's going out of style? It's not like they offer to some obscure island that just can't get digital. Not to mention the astronomical prices for some of the worst service I've ever had the misfortune of using.

I traded up for Cingular and the N-Gage QD. I must say, it is quite a phone. I looked at service w/ T-Mobile using the Moto a630, but I realized that the a630 is a piece of shit wrapped up in a $300 phone. I obviously can't get the sidekick (cuz alown roll's that one) and the t-mobile free phones are some kind of awful. I did like t-mobile's prices though. In the end, the n-gage won out as a geeky cool phone at a reasonable price with really good service. Cingular's a bit more than T-mobile, but they have the best digital coverage around. Whatever it is that's keeping verizon analog is absolutely beyond me. GSM is where it's at.

Gonna go see Hotel Rwanda tonight. I do like me this girl...

Phones

I'm really not happy about this losing my phone thing. The cost of phones is so great, and the return is so little. Every phone that's in my price range is either a shit phone, or is cool but lacks some feature I'd like. I'm in such disarray on the issue that part of me just wants to stick with this shit samsung replacement phone and call it good... even though I can barely stand to use the thing. I'm looking at paying the early term. fee to get out of verizon's control and going with probably t-mobile and some of their cool phones. The n-gage is close to my price range, but I don't know if I could stand to use it... and it doesn't have a camera. The phones they do have that aren't shitty, but have a camera get bad reviews.

I really don't know what to do... and I'm thinking of going to the coop for lunch tomorrow. I'd like to see her again. hehe...

Damn it all

So after a nice dinner out with a girl I find to be quite nice, I head off for some fun with alown and his lady. They figure it'd be fun to go to one of them loud and annoying college bars that the kids like because I guess you can get laid there. The guy to girl ratio was way off, folks. Way off. But... they had nasty ass domestics for $9, all you can drink. I figured, what the hell, if I go as fast as I can, I can either puke it up or fall asleep... either way, I get to pretend I didn't just go from a great night to the place we were at.

Crazy thing of the night is... ol' Phoeb's and I ended up having a hell of a walk home (something about falling all over the place)... and I ended up losing my phone in the process. I've been very angry about this all day. I've had to suspend the account until I can get in to get a new phone tonight. Fucking waste of money, that one. Worst of all is that I don't have half the numbers in that thing written down anywhere. So very angry at myself for this one.

Checkers

Alown threw up!!!! hahaha!!!! 3 Guiness and the bastard throws up! hahaha!!!

Food Poisoning

Alown's girl got herself a case of the ol' food poisoning. Really feelin' for her right now. I was at the restraunt she thinks she got it from, but that was way back on saturday around noon. Seems like it woulda hit much sooner if that's where it came from. Even better is that I'm supposed to go with someone to the same damn place on thursday. Stay tuned though, there's some rumblings that alown's gonna explore the ramifications of odds, the lottery, and why the how and why of life in the general mish mash.

Oh yeah... reality check -- there's two circles of people (some might refer to this phenomenon as a set of cliques or social niches) that cohort around these parts. Well, two that are in any way relevant. These cliques have an ambassador and have been known to intermingle from time to time. Nothing big, just a few crossover issues and special cameo appearances here and there. Well... as it turns out, I found myself a nice little copy of DC-Marvel crossover classics here and seem to be getting drawn in. Slowly and akwardly for sure (as is to be expected from me, I manage to turn any normal conversation into an excercise in silence and silly questions).

Now, here's the thing. The roving bandit who's assumed himself the role of ambassador to the people has been through this issue somewhat. He's warned me good that it'll draw you in for the first couple of pages, but once the reading gets good, it may not be exactly what you thought it was. That's not to say it becomes an Image-Marvel crossover or anything, it just may not be the same quality you'd expect from such a comic. Natually, I don't wanna blow off this one, but I can't help but wonder how this could end up being. I'm not exactly the kind of person that is okay reading a comic in the store without buying it, taking it home, and cherishing it forever. Truth be told, I keep as many of my comics as I can. For as long as I can. This isn't always exactly what comics expect when they make themselves known to you at the store. Sometimes they just like to be put in the plastic bag and then returned to the shelf.

I don't know exactly what any of that means, because obviously it's not about comics. What I do know is that the last comic I bought came with warning sealing every part of it. I chose to ignore them and I got hurt when I opened it up. Maybe I'd be good to just flip a few pages in a couple of my favorite lines... maybe I'd be good just staying away from the store for a while altogether... maybe I'd just be good to read the warnings before opening the plastic. I don't know. I do like comics though... especially the ones with a couple squishy pages in them, just so you know you're getting your money's worth.

Boxers

Feeling good enough lately to try wearing boxers some again. Hope it doesn't end up causing me problems in the long run. They're just more comfortable, I think.

Item. Odd night last night. The very reason for having to bail in such a hurry is something so off-beat that it's kind of almost silly. How can someone do something like that? Silly kid that one. Kinda like the big brother I never had.

W3rd

As soon as I realised she wouldn't be there... I decided to drown myself. Fuck people. Fuck them all. Hard enough to get it out... but fuck them all. Can't walk, can't talk, can't think, can't breathe, fuck them all. I think I might have given myself a bit of a problem...

sad... hurt... stupid... fucked.

Wednesday!!!!

Wednesday's here!!!! Sweet merciful crap ass it's finally come! Here's hoping a week of being distracted will pay off. hehe...

Other news - A Scanner Darkly is a really good book. I hope they don't fuck up the movie. They actually picked really good people to play in it though (Woody Harrelson as Luckman! Robert Downy Jr. as Barris! Keanu Reaves as Arctor!!!! and last but not least, Winona Rider as Donna... *sigh*). I was really surprised at drawn in I got in the last hundred or so pages. Watching what happens to Arctor and then seeing why it is that he was allowed to get as far into things as he did. Unbelievable the ending of that book. Really sad though. You kind of go through the book like "Yeah man! Cool shit! Weird! Right on!" and then it's like "Wait... no... no that's not right. That can't be what's happening here. It can't..." and then it's over and you kind of feel a little for what P.K.D. went through in his generation.

Browny points also go to Betrayers of Kamigawa. No reason in particular because it's a small set, but still fun to play around with. Gonna start hitting the book for that block probably tomorrow night. Very exciting.

Gentoo (home)

Put Gentoo on the home system today. So far so good. It's true what they say though, all you get is about 0.01% speedup. I was really excited to see how xfce 4.2 runs with my setup here... sadly it's just as slow as at work. I'm not happy to see them bloating things. I'm also not happy to see that the composite xorg extension runs like shit.

Outside of that, the same distraction has been keeping me deep within a nice fog of confusion. Kinda makes me happy. Gonna hit the ol' Mulligans w/ alown's girl tomorrow. Give her a little support in trying to win the free tv I've enjoyed watching every time I'm in there (and apparently I'm the only one sad that it's going) while he does the work thing. Get yer fingers crossed for her.

Give It Here

I swear to god, if I could just have Flogging Molly with a god damned set of pipes on some songs, I'd be one step closer to being ready for the great down under. I can get very close with bands like Dropkick Murpheys (who seem to lean more towards the punk) and The Real McKenzies (who lean more towards the traditional). Something in the middle would be just damned great! But oh no... the god damned scots can't get a man like Dave to put something together. Some real bullshit that one.

On the other hand, I'm finding myself severly distracted all day. Probably will be until the next Wednesday (unless I get lucky, which isn't really my kind of thing) and from there it will probably be another distracted week until the next Wednesday. And so on until one day when I finally become a man.

Clarity

There really is nothing like the clarity that comes the next day. Realizing that yes, the world really does spin that way, and that yes, you really did leave your clothes all over the living room for no good reason. And somehow, through it all, you really did manage maintain control over your bowels.

A true moment of clarity indeed.

Gentoo and links

This is the first and *hopefully* only time I'll be making a post from links. As it turns out, compilers are crazy and C++ has some really shitty rules about library compatability. So in order to make our stuff compile, I need to use gcc 3.4, which can be a real pain in the ass to upgrade on a system like Slackware. That's why I'm using Gentoo right now, so that once I got the compiler upgraded from gcc 3.3, I could then re-compile the system no problem.

Turns out... it takes a really long time to do this. I'm currently waiting on the system recompile (and I only did an emerge -e system!). I'll probably recompile everything overnight tonight, but I'm a little worried that'll leave me stranded tomorrow. And once I get that done, I need to get some form of a window manager up and running. Egh....