Java 1.5

So, I've always hated Java. A lot. It's just an ugly way of doing things and it's slow. Until now. This new release pretty much adds everything one could hope for in a modern OO language. Generic types, autoboxing, and variable arguments for people coming from C. I don't have time to say much about why I like these things, but I do think they'll really help Java get further ahead. Probably won't take me away from C++, but it will definitely make me think twice when doing a cross-platform application.

Truck

Roommate got a new Sidekick II yesterday. He showed it to me today as I was leaving for work. It has a cool camera phone in it (including a mirror for the vain) so I decided to take a picture of my truck real quick. It's gonna be his picture for when I call.



It's easy to see from that picture why I want nerf bars and some 33" BFG A/Ts.

Peeple R Stoopid

Check that link up there down at the "What a jerk" post by Gabe. What kind of a sick human being does one have to be to think that helping terminally ill children on christmas is some kind of egoism. Sick kids need the best out of life that we can give them (well, all kids need it really, but that's what parents are for in the conventional situation), and something tells me $200,000 in video games and toys is probably heaven on earth for them (and will, using my etcha-sketch calculator here, last more than a couple years).

If you get a chance to help out with Child's Play this year, do so. Not because it's altruistic or an egoism or whatever other hippy buzz-word you wanna throw on it, but because it's a good thing to do for kids that could use a good thing from time to time.

Sing along redux

Thought these lyrics were kinda cool:

Whistles the wind, blowing my way

Sweeping me back, back here to stay

Can winners be losers running on the same track?

Some head for glory, others refresh



Well it breaks my heart to see you this way

The beauty in life, where's your God?

And somebody told me, you were doing okay

Somehow I guess they were wrong



My isolation, now there's a sobering thought

A minute alone, a lifetime too long

See the face in this mirror, so pale it could crack

Desperately wanting a color in lacks



Well it breaks my heart to see you this way

The beauty in life, where's your God?

And somebody told me, you were doing okay

Somehow I guess they were wrong



So you drank with the lost souls for too many years

Time to be right cause they'll cripple with fear

Never been righteous, go sell them, we're wrong

Life's only life with you in this song



Now there's an ocean between us

Where I am and where I want to be

So you prayers in doubt, doubt not for me



Well it breaks my heart to see you this way

The beauty in life, where's your God?

And somebody told me, you were doing okay

Somehow I guess they were wrong



Well it breaks my heart to see you this way

The beauty in life, where's your God?

And somebody told me, you were doing okay

Somehow I guess they were wrong



Whistles the wind

Whistles the wind

Whistles the wind

Whistles the wind



Oh you'll find your way out, but there's no going now

Every woman and child drags you down for the good

It's not safe being free, can't give back what you feel

You said you'll always be in heaven with me

Not bad for a band I originally thought was just about drinking and pirating.

Good Musics

Killswitch Engage is not a bad band.

More Firefox

So I just now discovered that little Google search in the upper right of firefox. Also discovered it searches more than just google. Almost crapped myself. Damn hot stuff there.

Also found out about user mode Linux from a professor of mine. Stoked to start learning about that. It'd be real nice to test my kernel modules for that class in 2.4 w/o having to boot out of 2.6.

Thank you Mr. DMCA

So the DMCA is being used to crack down on Magic Suitcase. Not sure how far they're taking their copyrights (images, text, etc.), but it appears as though they want people using their online gatherer search engine. Bunch of crap if you ask me. I was all excited to use suitcase for my ChoK deck building. Guess I'll have to find another way to do it. I think maybe creating an app for proxy decks that gets all its data via gatherer might be a neat idea. They can't really do anything since it'd just be an automated proxy creater rather than a full on database of copyrighted information.

It wouldn't be as nice to use as suitcase since suitcase is offline and all, and I've always been scared of the HTTP protocol, but it might serve as a temporary solution for someone to code up.

Meat

Just because it's the cheapest package of meat, doesn't mean it's edible. Remember this.

Magic and Truck... again...

Getting all excited cuz my Kamigawa deck is coming together and my first chance to play test is gonna be tonight. Might throw together a Mirroden deck for Friday night magic, but I'm not sure if I wanna hit that or not. I'm psyched for Kamigawa, but I'm missing getting my game on. Funny thing though, roommate can't go to the next Kamigawa tournament. So I'm gonna have to go alone and pick up lots of cool cards for myself. I don't know the people there real well, so it might be a little ackward. I just really want them new cards and a chance to play some games.

In the truck department, had a talk with the roommate (who is currently being hunted by the ghost of Bob, just read his blog to see it) about taking the truck somewhere and having him show me how to handle it off-road. Still scared pantsless about breaking it or getting stuck, but I think I'm in a spot here where I can be without it for a week or two. I'm really close to school and work so I can walk almost anywhere. Other things can probably handled with rides from friends. And if I do break something, I'd probably have to fix it myself to afford it, which means maybe meeting people that are do this kind of stuff for fun that wouldn't mind showing me how to keep my truck in good shape. Either that or I'll break it once and never do it again. I don't know. We'll find a good day and I'll make sure and post about it. Maybe get some pictures, but I doubt it.

Python

Been spending some time taking a look at Python. I've been wanting to get some RAD cross-platform going and this seems like a really good way to do it. It's really handy as a scripting language but seems to be very proficient as an application language as well. Normally I might want something like Perl, but the OO nature of Python is catchy (I might dig more into O'Caml, but functional languages are rough for me). I'll see if I have the gusto to keep in it for a while and maybe I can show off something soon.

Pre-release

Played in the Magic: the Gathering pre-release yesterday. I actually did a lot better than I thought I would. My first opponent was a newb like me, so we went 1-1 and then he had to leave so I took the round. My second opponent was one of the guys from the place my roommate regulars, and he's also fairly good at the game. He handed me my ass both matches. Final round was against a kid that just had some bad luck, I think. First match goes to me because he can't get any red mana. I basically took him out with a 2/2 Bushido 1 in about 10 turns. Second match goes to him because he keeps removing all my creatures and returning his to his hand from his graveyard. Last match ends up mine because I draw my foil Tatsumasa the Dragon Fang. On my 6th turn, he Stone Rains one of my lands, so I have to wait until my next turn to drop the Fang. 8th turn I swap in the dragon. 3 turns later, it's over and I'm walking away with 4 extra boosters of ChoK. Not a bad haul (1 tournament pack, 6 boosters) for a $25 tournament.

The funniest part of the whole night? Roommate gets screwed in the ass by the people at work and has to drop from the tournament a round early. He coulda walked out with the same card count as me (his deck was way better than mine) but instead ends up waiting at the apartment for the people at work. He tells himself it works out because if they hadn't given him time off, he wouldn't have gone anyway... I say he's just sucking his thumb to feel better about it. Funny stuff if you ask me.

On the last bit of news, my shell is smashing some crucial data and causing malloc() to segfault. I'm very not happy about this because it's a very hard bug to catch. Into the debugger for the rest of the day I go.

Is this possible?

Check that link up there. I'm having a hard time following the idea that Microsoft can put the hammer down on a standard like that. It's kind of scary that a company can have that much push over something that really isn't their territory. It makes me wonder how people will react to something like this. It probably won't be pretty, whatever it is.

Vacation

I need a vacation. Too much to do and I don't give a crap about any of it.

Obligatory "about my truck"

Yeah, it's that time again. I got some fresh oil put in that sucker and it's back to purring like a mountain lion... or at least it is in my head because it's actually really quiet what with being a 4cyl and all. I've had this urge to get some window visor things. I used to think they were really only for Nampa-style vehicles (people from here will maybe get what that means) but I've seen them on some Toyotas around town and they do look kinda cool. Give a little bit more wideness to the truck. I haven't looked into if they look better w/ tinted windows and bad w/o tinted windows, but before I make any decisions I think I should look into that.

I often find myself wishing I had a friend that was really into vehicles so that I could take them off-roading and when something breaks, they could show me how to fix it. And maybe show me how to take care of the more... complex things (or at least what to look for). Like, I was reading about the timing chain in these pickups and one site showed a picture of it. They talked about how they're built using plastic guides that tend to break... and if they do break and the chain comes loose and eventually off the guides, it can destroy the engine (it's actually right in with the camshaft). There's also things like the water/fuel pumps that I don't know what to do about... and some more things that the Toyota book talks about but shows no picture of, so I'm left wondering wtf to look for. With the whole offroad thing, you're talking about some serious damage to parts that aren't like "yeah, just turn this here and it'll be good again" and having someone that could help with that would be nice.

Unfortunately, I know no such person. So I'm left going slowly over areas I know I can't get stuck in, hoping that my luck holds through and nothing ends up breaking. It's kind of worrying to think that I'm putting a lot of money into taking care of whatever I can on my truck... and yet some stupid thing like a plastic guide could end up taking the whole thing out. Not that I wouldn't mind throwing a newer, bigger engine in it, but I just can't afford the new engine or all of the changes that would be needed to accomodate a larger engine. Programming I can do, but mechanics are very much a mystery to me.

Sunbird

Just got Sunbird up and going at work. Very happy with the performance and probably going to get the same thing going at home to remind me to do homework. I really feel sorry for anyone using Outlook at this point. I wonder what it feels like to know you blew that much $$$ on a product that's wholy inferior to the free, open source suite from Mozilla.

Some nerds were bitching about how OpenOffice doesn't work right. Something about how nothing can open its documents and nothing looks right. I wonder how such idiocy can be perpetuated throughout the world. I've been using OpenOffice for every school project the last 3 years as well as my resume and to open every .doc file given to me. It's also handy for creating easy .pdfs. Why people cling to MS Office like children to their mothers is really beyond me.

Everyone sing along

*Stone the Crow - Down*

A bout of deep depression.
Can't seem to move it forward.
My lying eyes lie awake.
Not sure what I am after.
I never died before.
Can't live what happened yesterday.
I never stoned the crow, no.
Flip through endless stories.
A life of hand-written pain.
No one can share this hurt that is mine, mine, mine.
I never died before.
Can't be what happened yesterday.
I shouldn't stone the crow, no.
Ride on!
Same old city, same old pain.
No matter how I try,
No matter what I say,
I'm blamed, I'm shamed,
I'm judged unfairly.
So now I've died before.
It feels as bad as yesterday.
I never stoned the crow, no.
You too have died before.
It's more than less of yesterday.
I never stoned the crow, stoned the crow, no, no.

I tell you what... if rock could be this good all the time, I think I'd have nothing to complain about anymore.

Interesting

Check out that link up there. I'm a little torn about the whole thing. On the one hand, fuck pirates. It's my livelyhood on the line if they steal my software so what do I care if they lose their documents? I don't. On the other hand, I don't have a problem sharing some software/games with close friends. They're close friends and it rarely leaves them. One of the links in the article makes a similar argument, except they care about not deleting things from people's harddrives (Mac users are a little off anyway). I'm sure the guy regrets what he did because it was obviously just a childish "if you're going to steal my software, I'll mess you up!" response. I really do like shareware (it's the next best thing when open source won't work) and wish it could get a bigger following. Heck, demoing software is pretty much the only way to get me to buy any of it.

In other news, new Rancho's on the truck! Stiff sum' bitches they are. It's become painfully obvious my truck needs an alignment as well. Going to maybe schedule that for next week or something when I get my fluids changed up. I wish I knew more about the automobiles so I could do this stuff myself... and maybe have a better idea of what mods are better than others so I can have my truck a really long time. Unfortunately, science is a mystery to me and we is dumb, so I'm stuck relying on word of mouth and expensive repair shops. Kind of embarrasing, but if it keeps my truck running good then I'm all for laying down the greenbacks. It's a love afair, really... mainly me and my truck.

All I need now is them 33" BFG ATs, nerf bars, and some exhaust fixups. Smooth frickin' ride there my friends... smooth frickin' ride.

Tough Call

I'm not just afraid to be alone... am I? I...

LANing

I'm at a LAN.... and I want to be somewhere else very badly.

Fuck ESPN

So I paid like $70 to park at school... in addition to the $2000+ to be here. And it turns out, when there's a football game gonna be on the ESPN, I can't park here. At the place I paid nearly $3000 to be at and park. This is fucked up. And I'm pissed. I skateboarded the whole way here and my heart is like "Dude... seriously... I'm passing fucking McDonald's through right now... stop moving!" It hurts. Like a god damned son of a bitch, it hurts. And I smell bad because of it. Plus, I put them 6x9s in my truck and was all like "hell yeah, I'm pimp shit now" only to find out, I can't park here!

In other news, I'm no longer going to be saying "e-mail" or "mail of the electronic variety". I will henceforth use the term "gmail" when referring to things of that nature. This is because what we've used up until now for electronic mail has been nothing but a joke played on us by rich white people. Gmail is the way it was meant to be and the way it will forever be. Not really because of the massive space, but because the interface rocks my world. You all should get gmail too.

The Balancing

I'm a little worried right now. The universe must in some way balance this... and it's going to be bad when it does. At least I paid attention when it told me what to hold as important. If I can be a good enough person to keep my perspective, maybe I can be happy, have my cake, and eat it all with ice cream too. Maybe.

I was gonna write something very lame in this spot... but I decided it'd be best to not, because unlike the kids, I know what things aren't for the world to know... and that electronic crap does in fact leave a paper trail. I think this weekend will be the time for a short conversation to clear some things up. It's called "social skills".

God damn you half Japanese girls

I'm sorry... there is just something damned hot about a girl that talk ATHF and carries a d20 in her bag. Frickin' hot. Lip jewelery is also hot, though not as much as the geeky part.

EDIT - Before we all get excited. She's married. Still hot though.

Hero

Watched Hero tonight. Damn good movie. It's definitely a thinking movie. We didn't get the major part until about five minutes after the end of the movie, which is a pretty good sign that something bigger than you'd find in most American movies had gone down. I think Jet Li takes on kind of a jesus role in the movie. A mortar for a different time and different culture, only instead of the son of god, he's just a man looking for revenge and finding truth and enlightenment instead.

Some times I think it might be good to leave for a while. A sojourn to somewhere that might set me on my own path to truth and wisdom. Speak the sacred Ohm and let the universe communicate itself clearly to me. I don't think it'd be wise for me to experience all facets of the self as one should, but a quiet journey of suffrage and humility might do me some good. At least get me away from everything. I guess my last real communion with the universe came when I wasn't even paying attention... just lost in my own thoughts and fears. But it also came when I let go of everything keeping me from being myself, so maybe it's just a matter of letting go again, speaking the Ohm, and freeing myself from the shackles of the self. I sure could use the wisdom of the universe right now. Something tells me that the journey to that wisdom is the important part of being an adult, rather than the actual acquiring of that wisdom. I'm glad not all things are so complicated.

Life Sucks

Why is it always so hard to turn our backs on the things we really want? I think someone out there will find me worth it, so I should be strong again in time.

I don't like you either

It's back. I want it gone. You know the voice that says you don't deserve this, but you do it anyway because even though the voice is right, you don't want to listen? I'm starting to listen... I really, really don't deserve this. It's my time to be happy now.

Yucky Ramen

While we're trading quotes... I've always been kind of attached to this one:

"And eating yucky ramen can also... be an interesting experience."

10 points for anyone that can guess where that's from with an extra bonus of 20 if they can say why it's such a good quote. No cheating though, I'm watching you.

Some updates also:

A) It's not ringworm. It itches, but the bump is gone.
B) The dog has a swolen salivary gland. So it's a huge relief and I can now make fun of him for having spit problems.

Also had a moment today... in my old room. I would've thought that I'd want to be home so bad, but when I'm there it's like a different place. Not like it's not home or anything... it's just not where I feel like I belong anymore. I don't belong here the city either, but I don't feel out of place in life. It's confusing, but I'm happy. I also had this feeling that I haven't felt for a while now... and I didn't like it. A feeling I fought very hard to put away... it scares me because just a day ago I was thinking for upteen hours, "just get me out of this car... so I can say that I don't want this in my life anymore and turn my back on all of it". Six hours or so of thinking that to myself, "I'll just say I don't want this and leave me alone and then someone will come and save me." Bullshit is hard to deal with sometimes. Feeling betrayed and lied to and then feeling the same as I did when everything fell apart is hurtful. Somehow I deal, but it's hard to try and watch my back all the time. I just don't want to hurt again...

On the side... I hate nerds. Well... I mean... I like geeks. I hate nerds. You know, the guys who know more than the professor and know that they know more, so they ask inappropriate questions at irrelevant times just so they can inflate their own nerdy little ego. I wonder if they see me laugh in front of them when they ask their question, because I know the answer and know full well the professor doesn't know. I had one professor this semester already say that avoiding questions like that is called "social skills". Sometimes I wish I were seeking a profession where people had a bit more of those.

A Relevant Post

That link up there is exactly why I have a very hard time trusting people... especially of the female variety.

One other thing...

I think I got ringworm from the trip. Not sure, but I have a bump on my arm that itches and is red around the bump... just like ringworm. Gonna have my mom take a look at it tonight (she's a nurse and has a bunch of books with really disgusting pictures in them) and see what she says. Hopefully not ringworm, cuz that sucker itches like a mother.

Seattle

So let's talk about the trip I mentioned yesterday. Took off on friday, slept in a tent in Yakima, arrived inbetween Tacoma and Seattle on Saturday. First stop was downtown Seattle to see the homeless people and the market stuffed with people selling me things I didn't realize I needed. It was very... well, it was a lot take in when you're from a place like Boise. I've been to places like San Francisco and San Diego, even been on Fisherman's Warf and in the thick of D.C. But that was all before I realized how much I actually enjoy seeing dirt underneath my feet and mountains/foothills backdropping short buildings. It reminds me that there is actually life other than humans, pigeons, and concrete out there.

Took a short tour of the outter cities after the trek downtown. That was a lot nicer for me since things seem to move a bit slower outside of the towers. Had some dinner at a Denny's where the fellow taking our order was on his second day. All I wanted was my damn milkshake...

The second day was more interesting to me (my travel-mate was there to see the buildings, so for her I'm thinking the first day of taking pictures of buildings and walking all to hell and back was the fun part). We went to the Boeing air museum and got to see up close a Blackbird (cruise speed of mach3), a P-51, and a whole mess of other really badass aircraft that us civilian folk don't get to see much of. Though I actually lived in a place where right before school would start, a P-51 and a bomber would fly over our house a couple times a day. Very loud planes they are.

The last day of traveling home was rough. Some not-so-good things went down and it's left me feeling a bit uneasy. It got some resolution at the end and maybe can be mended back up. Some stitches are in place and a good couple of tugs should seal it up.

Funny story before I get back to work. I said on the way up and on the way back, "better slow down, cops don't like 90 in a 75". I got called a wuss over the text messages. I said, "gonna get pulled over, hope you can afford it". Low and behold, on the way back, we're pulled over in Oregon. That woulda been a $240 ticket if not for the cop being generous on the holliday. Good times my friend, good times.

Hot Dog

I came back from a trip over the holiday (more on that later)... found we had some rotting watermellon that had festered in its own filth, some lettuce that had turned a nice shade of orange and brown, and some hot dogs that had turned themselves into a liquid that spilled over onto the bottom of the fridge. Eww dude... eeww... and now the garbage smells really, really bad.

And in moment...

... I am humbled.

I did a bad thing, Rem... I did a bad thing.

Rough day. Was angry at a friend, but gave up on that because it's not worth it and she did the best she could. More angry at myself and the way the universe chooses to balance itself with my life. But I need to talk about something else.

A long while back, my family picked up a couple of chocolate lab puppies. We watched them grow, and when my step dad passed on they became the big link to a time gone by for my mom. About a year and a half ago, they passed away from old age and the various cancers of life. It was a rough time. Maybe a month later my mom found a yellow lab at the pound and brought him home. This dog has had the kind of life you only see on the Animal Precinct show on APL. He was once beaten so hard that he was paralyzed in his hind legs. He still has a hump where his spine has been bent out of shape from the blow, and his fur there doesn't grow nice and soft like it should. He cowers when you raise something over your head and he gets agitated at strange men wearing hats or strange men taking a jog. He knows pain and yet he's still lively and loving. Everyone that's been around him has fallen in love with how sweet he is. He turned four sometime this year.

I went home tonight to do some ironing. Watched some baseball with my grandpa and griped at my mom about the man, the system, and how Winco won't take debit cards in the year 2004. I also got to be the one to find the bump, roughly the circumfrance of a baseball and the thickness of about a half-inch in his neck. I'm not scared... or worried... I'm just sad. The universe has a sick way of balancing itself out sometimes. Hopefully the vet will shine a ray of light on this.